LIMERICKS

Oops it's Sunday and I forgot to go to.....
Any place that has a loo
Just got there in time

Behind a tree I did climb ..

Oops it's Sunday and I forgot to go to.....
Any place that has a loo
Just got there in time
Behind a tree I did climb
Where a huge cow called out BOO




Is that a pencil up there that i see

Is that a pencil up there that i see
What, that one stuck up the bum of a flea?

Is that a pencil up there that i see
What, that one stuck up the bum of a flea?
I think somebody gonna get a flea in the ear...

Is that a pencil up there that i see
What, that one stuck up the bum of a flea?
I think somebody gonna get a flea in the ear
Me thinks Imbrutus would like it in beer

Is that a pencil up there that i see
What, that one stuck up the bum of a flea?
I think somebody gonna get a flea in the ear
Me thinks Imbrutus would like it in beer
Not guilty is my plea

There was a young man from Capris

There was a young man from Capris

Who had a very ugly neice

There was a young man from Capris

Who had a very ugly neice

But, he worried not as he'd found

There was a young man from Capris

Who had a very ugly neice

But, he worried not as he'd found
The ugliest batchelor around

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There was a young man from Capris

Who had a very ugly neice

But, he worried not as he'd found

The ugliest batchelor around

With arms that hung past his knees


Raining down south while snow is up north

Raining down south while snow is up north
In the summer,the sun will get our wrath

Raining down south while snow is up north
In the summer,the sun will get our wrath
And autumn brings leaves that we need to burn

Raining down south while snow is up north
In the summer,the sun will get our wrath
And autumn brings leaves that we need to burn
It's best done then when they are on the turn

Raining down south while snow is up north
In the summer,the sun will get our wrath
And autumn brings leaves that we need to burn
It's best done then when they are on the turn
The smoke from the bonfire will make ya cough!

~~~~~~~~~~~
It's bedtime again said Mum

It's bedtime again said Mum
So come here and sit on yer bum

It's bedtime again said Mum
So come here and sit on yer bum
PJs on clean your teeth

It's bedtime again said Mum
So come here and sit on yer bum
PJs on clean your teeth
hope everything's clean beneath

It's bedtime again said Mum
So come here and sit on yer bum
PJs on clean your teeth
hope everything's clean beneath
NO Jimmy no chewing gum

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It's cold wet and dark

It's cold wet and dark
Please don't walk in the park

It's cold wet and dark
Please don't walk in the park

But if you must then wear your boots

It's cold wet and dark
Please don't walk in the park

But if you must then wear your boots
Don't make all that noise, the owl hoots

It's cold wet and dark
Please don't walk in the park

But if you must then wear your boots
Don't make all that noise, the owl hoots
"oh shut up" said a sleepy lark

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the xmas food eaten

All the xmas food eaten
Now laziness to be beaten

All the xmas food eaten
Now laziness to be beaten
Need to do some press ups

All the xmas food eaten
Now laziness to be beaten
Need to do some press ups
To reduce the size of Bra cups