fact of the day

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf

you seen me play then wiseguy

for some reason i cant imagine you playing golf
unless you were in the 19th hole with me

yes your right there

PARANOIA

facts on paranoia, if you think someone is, or you think you are, there is help available. For members here who may or may not be paranoid, this isn't aimed at you!

I haven't checked to see if this actually works or not . . . but they say,

if you ever get the sudden urge to

run around naked, you should sniff

some Windex first.

It'll keep you from streaking!!!


I'll try it and let you know!

wiseguy...Got some windex now sniff sniff.....

Definition: Liquidity is when you look at your retirement funds and wet your pants.

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning."
He replied, "No, just having a sh!t."

Nightingale wrote:

The first animal aviators were a sheep, a duck and a cockerel that were sent aloft in a hot air balloon in 1783.

i guess that was ,pilot,co pilot & navigater then.


Here,s another interesting piece of useless information.
During the napoleonic war,s a French warship was sunk just off Hartlepool. Among the crew that was washed ashore was a pet monkey.
The people of Hartlepool mistakenly took it as a French spy and hanged it.....THAT,S TRUE. LOL

Ps, to this day anyone from Hartepool is called a monkey hanger.

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm,
she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If
you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile,
she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.


So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'

i like that one wiseguy

Women are like phones:

They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.

But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected..

Nice to see that you know your place WG !

yes i prefer to be on the top but dont mind being below every now and again

I'm sorry but the number you are calling is busy..... the operator knows you are waiting..........

so its back to the self operating system then

It has not been possible to connect your call , please try again later !! LOL

too late the caller is now engaged

WHY .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Probably because we have the BEST junk in the world........ ;)

In a move that will cost 300 Americans their jobs, the Federal government announced that it will no longer buy American-made condoms made in Alabama and will buy cheaper condoms made in China.

Here’s my question: if the Chinese condoms are so good, why are there over one billion people in China?
wg

Here's a selection of random facts:-




Did You Know, Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

Did You Know, TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Did You Know, Butterflies taste with their feet.

Did You Know, Coca-Cola was originally green.

Did You know, If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

Did You Know, Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Did You Know, It is impossible to lick your elbow.

Did You Know, Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

Did you know...
If you're a woman and you have a craving, studies show you are most likely to want chocolate. If your a man, you're more likely to crave fat and salt.

and in my case sex ;)

Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.