the rules

Men's Rules
We keep getting all these, "rules from the woman's side", emails so we figured it was time for a "rules from the man's side" email. These are our rules! Learn them, memorize them and use them!
Please note these are all numbered "1" for a reason!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Saturday = Sports
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark them on a calendar and remind us frequently.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer that question anymore.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us look. It doesn't hurt anyone, to look. And for us, its genetic.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will believe you.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Could not have put it better my self ....

No comment.............................

were you dreaming when you came up we that :lmfao: :lmfao:

Ah Morgan.....................it was just a bit of wishful thinking. :D :D :D

i only have wet dreams morgan

too much information wg.

pissing myself laughing ;)

i think you will wet by crying yourself to sleep when your laid on the couch wg

Tsk Tsk (sighs and shakes head)
Feng shui states that the lid should be down on the toilet for luck so that means the seat should be down too!
Ah we are always there at the back of yer mind - chippin away!
Fine as long as you realise Saturday is for shopping too!
We cannot help yer guilt reflex!
Hmmm you may have me on the hints one - but really we are trying to credit you with some intelligence!
Oh I bet you do - if we were to ask you who won what when or when did a particular war start or battle take place!
They are indeed and so is "nothing"!
Who told you you had the power to sort problems?
The old chestnut where you think women know nothing about their vehicles!
Now that is an admittance of yer problem with memory again!
Just cos you can't see fat - beer bellies are made of it - not beer!
Is that why there are more male politicians?
Look all you like - have you not noticed women do it all the time - oh forgot we are subtle - you lot have never mastered that!
Commercials - do you not use them to flick thru the other channels with the remote you hog?
Cobblers! BTW did CC not find the new world by accident?
You know 16 colours? Wow well done!
Good job - you wouldn't want to know what was on our minds sometimes!
Again we are trying to train your psychological side.
Yeah but think about it - we have more choice - the only question you lot need to answer is - does it need a suit?
You can never have enough clothes.
There is no such thing as too many shoes.
Is that because you don't like to be shown up?
Glad you have something so exciting in yer lives too!
So glad you like camping - keeps you in touch wi yer feminine side! ;)

Hope the foregoing clears up yer obvious misapprehensions! :D

:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: nice one green eyes

your banned