best come back award

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility...


Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'


Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'



Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'



Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'



Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'



Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'



The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line --

:ROFL:

Here's another:

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going toteach
these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing,archery, and
shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the
rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly
dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle
discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become
violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute,
but you're not one, are you?

:baby roll: they all are and dont they no it

wiseguy wrote:

:baby roll: they all are and dont they no it

Apparently some don't realise it. :domin:

Quote :

George Bernard Shaw once found himself at a dinner party, seated beside an attractive woman. "Madam," he asked, "would you go to bed with me for a thousand pounds?" The woman blushed and rather indignantly shook her head.
"For ten thousand pounds?" he asked. "No. I would
not." "Then how about fifty thousand pounds?" he contined.

The colossal sum gave the woman pause, and after further reflection, she coyly replied: "Perhaps." "And if I were to offer you five pounds?" Shaw asked.

"Mr. Shaw!" the woman exclaimed. "What do you take me for!" "We have already established what you are," Shaw calmly replied. "Now we are merely haggling over the price.

good come back rep given

gambit wrote:

wiseguy wrote:

:baby roll: they all are and dont they no it

Apparently some don't realise it. :domin:

Quote :

George Bernard Shaw once found himself at a dinner party, seated beside an attractive woman. "Madam," he asked, "would you go to bed with me for a thousand pounds?" The woman blushed and rather indignantly shook her head.
"For ten thousand pounds?" he asked. "No. I would
not." "Then how about fifty thousand pounds?" he contined.

The colossal sum gave the woman pause, and after further reflection, she coyly replied: "Perhaps." "And if I were to offer you five pounds?" Shaw asked.

"Mr. Shaw!" the woman exclaimed. "What do you take me for!" "We have already established what you are," Shaw calmly replied. "Now we are merely haggling over the price.

What do you mean apparently? :furious:

Green Eyes wrote:

What do you mean apparently? :furious:

apparent

1. Readily seen; visible.
2. Readily understood; clear or obvious.
3. Appearing as such but not necessarily so

apparently is an adverb.

So anatomy isn't yer strong suit then?

The anatomy of a comeback? :D
Sport or literature?

Oh I like a bit of sport but can be wordy when the occasion arises! You choose - bat or chat?

wiseguy wrote:

:baby roll: they all are and dont they no it

*gasp* WG, that's not very nice..... Not all females are that way. :(

texasgal wrote:

wiseguy wrote:

:baby roll: they all are and dont they no it

*gasp* WG, that's not very nice..... Not all females are that way. :(

We know. The nice ones are either a minority or liars.

Well TG I imagine you and I know which group we are in! :halo:

You mean to say you're actually allowed to be in a group GEW? :shock:

PMSL - btw I have a new name now!