SCOTTISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY
Artery......................... The study of paintings.
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium.......................... What doctors do when patients die.
Benign........................ What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section........ A neighbourhood in Rome.
Catscan......................... Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize....................... Made eye contact with her..
Colic........................... A sheep dog.
Coma.......................... A punctuation mark.
Dilate......................... To live long...
Enema........................... Not a friend.
Fester.......................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................... A small lie.
Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain.................. Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff................ A Doctor's cane.
Morbid............................ A higher offer.
Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates.
Node............................ I knew it.
Outpatient.................... A person who has fainted.
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative................ A letter carrier.
Recovery Room................ Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................... Nearly killed him.
Secretion..................... Hiding something.
Seizure........................ Roman emperor.
Tablet........................... A small table.
Terminal Illness............. Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour........................ One plus one more.
Urine........................... Opposite of you're out