Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

http://decentcommunity.com/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/

im lost for word,s...f***ing hell

:shock: Wow...

Can you imagine how her parents would explain that to their friends? "We're going down to Arndale for our daughter's funeral............. Well it was accidental, and involved a jackhammer................ Her ex filled her hoohoo with concrete before he left and she was just trying to create an access road."

so come on lets think of an epitapth

According to the yanks, neither Arndale Oklahoma nor Alpara County Sheriff's department exist so I guess this is a hoax. Oh well.

Here lies the body of Shirley Dent
Death by Jackhammer
That's how she went

Umm yeah thats rather strange.

I should tell my nephew, who is a panel beater, the story. I'm sure he'll be amazed that a jackhammer can remove a dent. :D

Here lies
Shirley Dent
When she came
She also went

Loved ones around
Dont feel
Her last few momments
Werent that bad

She left this world
Maybe in pain
We'll never see a jackhammer
The same way again.

@jox and alice

Here lies the body of Shirley Dent,
Always left wanting after any mortal gent,
She hammered her cr ch,
Just a little too much,
So her wants n' needs were all spent ! BOOM BOOM